DISCLAIMER: This is probably one of the worst movie reviews you will ever read in your life!
Remakes of movies that were done in the 80′s don’t really impress me much however I knew I had to watch the Batman movies. And not for the suicides & outbursts & massacres that surround the trilogy, more to see who really is the better Batman.I must start off by saying how much I love previews. Previews are fucking awesome. I’m the type of person that leans over after every preview and loudly or quietly whispers, “I want to see that!” or “I don’t want to see that!” Previews I seen that night that will undoubtedly become movies I will see in the future:
DJANGO – Jamie Foxx as an ex slave on a recon mission. The Jew Killer from Inglorious Bastards killing racist cowboys. & not to mention the fact that it’s directed by the creepiest most brilliant director at least of this decade, Quentin Tarantino.
The Expendables 2. I always told myself to never watch a Chuck Norris movie. Ever. Him & Charles Bronson were 2 faces I would automatically switch the channel on. Never giving them the slightest chance. With this one though, Mr. Norris finally has his chance.
Total Recall. Another remake of a movie that was done a long time ago. I love the original and not just because of the 3 tittied lady or the midget chick in heels, mainly because they go to Mars.
This remake though looks like it might give the original a run for it’s change. I am still not convinced that Jessica Biel is a good actress and she is the only thing that kinda makes me not want to watch it… but whatever I am not a hater.
So as The Dark Knight started I retardly convinced myself that theater shootings do not happen in the bay & that people here are much more level headed. Even still, I had my escape plan ready. Granted it was a shitty one, but I was still betting on the fact that all the crazy mutherfuckers were out doing other things.
Overall, it was a damn good movie. Some might argue that it was too long, or too dark & they fell asleep during it. To them I say, punch yourself in your ribs for being a douche. If you pay 15 bucks for a movie your ass had better stay awake. Sneak in some drink, smoke some weed do something but make sure you get your money’s worth at least!
Batman was cool, suave, mysterious as he always sometimes is. I am always semi impressed with Christian Bale especially because of the drastic physical change he underwent for his role in The Machinist. However, he still ranked as #2. Sorry, Michael Keaton will always be #1. I really can’t care about any other opinion.
I thought Foley was the dad on Back to The Future & I was wrong. Turns out it was the creepy dude from Willard I was confusing him with.
Bain ended up being a marshmallow underneath that shell of super tough. He was an awesome villain though. That fool had me scared. Shit anytime someone is calm cool & collected while they do crazy ass shit is pretty fucken scary. Except every time he spoke profoundly I couldn’t help but laugh. His ‘Darth-Vader-attempt’ was lacking in the Mufasa department and he ended up sounding much more like the Ancient One on The Neverending Story.
I am happy that Catwoman & Batman finally got together. That was one thing I felt was lacking in the Michael Keaton version. I wanted him & Michelle Pfeifer to get together and marry and have little bitty babies. Thank you Mr. Nolan for letting me put my fantasy to sleep…
PS. I hope Robin doesn’t fuck shit up.