The Grammy’s, a show that I feel everyone has to watch by default. If you are one of those chosen few that find yourself ‘above’ petty live award shows where people spend about four hours dick riding each other while simultaneously shooting daggers of envy through their torso’s while back’s are turned here is what you missed…. from my perspective anyway.
The host: LL Cool J. Can we even still call him cool anymore? Does licking your lips, winking, and throwing a peace sign even still work on women of this generation? Perhaps yes… However, using this platform repeatedly, and unsuccessfully, for your career revival attempts is frankly hard to watch at this point.
Highlights: Watching Rhianna & Chris snuggle like fools. Jay Z thanking the swap meet for homie’s beanie. Kelly Clarkson with her hideous make-up insulting & complimenting Miguel in the same sentence. Adele’s dress. Juanes singing a very old Elton John song in English. Mavis Staples emphasizing PUT THE LOAD ON ME. Melissa Etheridge looking ‘dike-ier’ than ever. Elton John’s collaboration with hideous shades & hideous matching suit. Taylor Swift acting a donkey while singing along to performances. Finally finding out who Frank Ocean is and still not giving a fuck. Not to mention his Forest Gump performance that made me cringe with embarrassment. It was very reminiscent of Cody Chestnut which made me dislike him even more. Tyler the Creator’s goofy ass face in the background. Seeing Lena Dunham with her man from FUN.
The Bob Marley Tribute is what really stood out for me most. I love the Marley family and while many will argue that Ziggy & Damian Marley are the better of the brothers, I still feel like Stephen Marley is the brother that most resembles his father’s music and style.
Prince graced the Grammy’s with his majestic presence when he handed out the Record of the Year award to Gotye and Kimbra. It was a proud moment indeed for all the Prince fanatics out there. And if I must confess, I hadn’t realized what a big fan I was of Prince until I seen him walk down the stage. I would still whoop him in basketball though.
Finally learning how to spell WHADDUP. All this time I thought it was WHATTUP.
Jack White eye-fucking his duet partner and reviving long hair rock n roll tactics with his smashing of his guitar on stage.
The Black Keys. I absolutely adore them. They remind me of an American Version of Flight Of The Concords.
And finally, Mumford & Sons winning big time with the Album of the Year Grammy. In his speech the lead vocalist said, “We’ll take this and keep this and love it very much” as if it were an adopted puppy. Although, I still believe they should have won an award for making the banjo fucking cool again.
OH AND FOR YOUR SAN JOSE NATIVES: That Microsoft commercial with the snap tablets featured music from a local crew, The Bangerz! Proud moment for an east sider. Check it out below:
But in all honesty, where the fuck was Kendrick Lamar’s Grammy for reviving West Coast rap?